Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
