Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Randomize
