A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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