He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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