hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
this is an emotional support booty call
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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