the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
