Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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