we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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