You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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