she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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