Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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