I like my sex mixed with concussions.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
