when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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