I feel great
I just peed on a car
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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