He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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