There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
