Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
