Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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