I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
