I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
My liver just had a heart attack.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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