dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
