My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
