where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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