Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
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