Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
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