i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
This is my gift to your gina
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
