We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
