Pappa wants mamma naked
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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