Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Randomize
