i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
