i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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