Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
