I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
