i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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