I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
