went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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