do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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