She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
