Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
