Kiss
Puke
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
