you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
No subtext here. People are naked.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
