lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
