Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Randomize
