what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
