We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
