So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
