it wasn't lemon gatorade
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
