How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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