He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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