Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
