Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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